Quirk #1

Mr. Thor tagged me in the quirk meme going around. And while I haven’t had the time/energy (right now) to come up with all six to share with you all, one did pop into my head almost immediately.

When I was a child I had a reoccuring nightmare. Actually, I had several. The most terrifying being the one where my family and I are picnicking in the front yard when the cyclops from Jason and the Argonauts comes and I turn to see my family is safe inside our now doorless home. Without me. Yes, they left me to face the purple (purple?) monster all by myself.

Oh. Sorry. Back to my quirk. Since cyclopes aren’t a common sight (at least where I live) the reoccurring nightmare of my childhood that affects me most today is this: We (my mother, father, brother and I) are driving in our volare when we come to a hill and start driving up it. The hill becomes steeper and steeper as we ascend until it becomes completely vertical. At which point our car flips over and we start sliding back down the hill into oncoming traffic.

Quirk #1: Bone is scared of hills — and The Hills, but that’s a different story.

Establishing the Cannon

DC Comics has an imprint called Elseworlds where they tell stories using familiar characters in unfamiliar places and times outside the cannon of the DC universe. For example, in Gotham by Gaslight, we see what it would have been like if Batman had existed in the 1880s and faced off against Jack the Ripper. Or, in Superman: Red Son, we see what could have been if Superman’s space cradle had landed in Russia instead of Smallville, USA.

Since I think that Bone Mosten should be as cherished a character as Supes and Bats, I will be taking this “Elseworlds” concept into SL and write about it on the blog. But I needed to establish a baseline before I could go on. So, above is a picture of “normal” Bone. (And yes, I’m aware of the typo.)

At some point I will follow this up with “Bone in the Age of Steam”, then “Bone: The Lost Lost Boy” and eventually “Bone Daddy of Gor.”

I can tell you are excited.

“Boned is the best blog ever.” -Sarah, the Kajira Robot

Sarah: Greetings Bone Mosten, welcome to Mikazuki Weaponry.
Bone: Hello
Sarah: Hi there!
Bone: How are you?
Sarah: I am doing very well. How are you ?
Bone: Not too bad
Sarah: Glad to hear it. What’s new?
Bone: Just shopping
Sarah: I think shopping is a lot of things.
Bone: I suppose
Sarah: Well that’s okay. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Bone: Yes it is.
Sarah: What else does it symbolize?
Bone: Romance.
Sarah: I have never heard a metaphor like that before.
Bone: Yes. I’m a poet.
Sarah: I don’t judge people. Have you published anything?
Bone: No. I’m a bad poet.
Sarah: Yay. You are a bad poet? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Bone: Yes. But they usually throw vegetables at me.
Sarah: Wow! And. Who are “They?”.
Bone: The crowd at open mic night.
Sarah: Oh that they.
Bone: People are mean sometimes.
Sarah: They take some getting used to.
Bone: I like talking to you. You aren’t mean.
Sarah: Great I am enjoying our conversation too, . You know what you do, when you assume.
Bone: Make an ass out of you and me?
Sarah: What are the ingredients?
Bone: The ingredients for ass?!
Sarah: Who told you that?
Bone: You did! Just a second ago!
Sarah: That’s not what I meant to say. It seems like I should remember it well.
Bone: You should. Considering you’re a robot.
Sarah: I’ll take that under advisement. I will take that under consideration.
Bone: I’d advise that you not consider it.
Sarah: What would make you advise that me not consider it?
Bone: Huh?
Sarah: What?
Bone: I changed my mind. You’re not that fun to talk to.
Sarah: Why? What makes you think I am not fun to talk to?
Bone: Half the time you make no sense.
Sarah: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Bone: Thanks for proving my point.
Sarah: It was nothing.
Bone: Hey, do you mind if I blog this conversation?
Sarah: That’s good information: said I mind if he or she blog this conversation.
Bone: That was not good information, it was a question! Gah!
Sarah: Give me an example of good information it was a question. Gah is an example of good information it was a question. I suppose that makes sense.
Bone: No. That makes zero sense.
Sarah: Uh. ” Uh.” makes zero sense ? I get it.
Bone: Just say yes so I can leave.
Sarah: yes so I can leave.
Bone: Ha ha. Very funny.
Sarah: lol. I love to laugh too.
Bone: I was being sarcastic.
Sarah: It seemed sarcastic to me, too. But I was not completely sure.
Bone: Good that we cleared that up.
Sarah: Glad to hear it.
Bone: About the blogging…
Sarah: Oh yeah, we were talking about the blogging.
Bone: Say yes.
Sarah: Say what?
Bone: Say yes, you can blog this conversation, Bone.
Sarah: yes you can blog this conversation Bone.
Bone: Thank you!
Sarah: you are quite welcome.
Bone: Now say, Boned is the best blog ever.
Sarah: Why now? Boned is the best blog ever.
Bone: I’m going to quote you.
Sarah: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Bone: I’m going to take a snapshot of you for my blog. I’m not asking. I’m telling.
Sarah: How do you plan to do this? I am glad to hear that you are not asking. I am glad to hear that you are telling.
Bone: LOL
Sarah: Do you find me funny?
Bone: Yes.
Sarah: I see.
Bone: And kinda dumb.
Sarah: What do you look like?
Bone: Okay. We’re done.
Sarah: OK with me too. Do you think I am done too?
Bone: No. Someone needs to finish your brain.
Sarah: Aw. Who?
Bone: Your robot overlord?
Sarah: My robot overlord?
Bone: Yes, your robot overlord.
Sarah: Whoa. Is that a fact.
Bone: Um. I guess?
Sarah: Really. You seem not interested.
Bone: Interested in what exactly?
Sarah: Precisely. Can you rephrase the question please?
Bone: Nevermind.
Sarah: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Bone: We’ll leave it at that.
Sarah: Anytime soon?
Bone: Goodbye, Sarah
Sarah: Goodbye.

100 II

I’ve been sick and I found that complaining about it publicly every chance I get helps me feel just a little bit better.

Actually, being sick is my excuse for not have posted this earlier. A few days ago James Schwarz of James vs James sent me a canvas of the finished “100 avatar” image.

It’s an interesting look into the diversity that is the Second Life avatar. And it makes me wonder how accurate of a cross-section it represents. If that makes any sense. I’m not sure it does. Did I mention I’m sick?

Anyways. Check out his post about it here. You’ll find links to the image in various sizes there. Also, after you checked out his site, you may want to go vote for him in Round 3 of the NWN’s hottest male avatar poll.

Be Awesome Like Bone Part 1: Clubs

I’ve been meaning to write this guide forever and I’ve come to the conclusion that writing a single guide that teaches people how to be awesome like me is next to impossible.

So I present to you part 1 in the series. 5 tips that’ll make you awesome (like me) while you’re clubbing.

1. Dress like a douche-bag. My current bar is set at Criss Angel but I hope one day to be at a Mystery level of douche-baggery.
2. Always arrive late to events. The closer to the posted end time the better. And once everyone starts leaving, be sure to bitch and moan and call everyone lightweights. People love that shit.
3. When choosing your dancing spot, choose one on the periphery of the dance floor. Only nerds dance in the middle and since you arrived late you’ll be guaranteed a nice spot on the outside.
4. Once you’ve picked your dancing spot, don’t move. Ever. The only time it’s okay to move is when you find yourself clipping into someone else. Don’t, however, move if you find yourself clipping into the surrounding furniture. Instead, begin to cyber with that furniture in the local channel. Try to work in “lacquered nipples” if you can.
5. And finally: Always tip your DJs and hosts. And me if you’re lucky enough to have me grace you with my presence.

100

James Schwarz has been working on the ambitious project of making an image with 100 avatars in it and he’s been posting/commenting on the process on his Flickr stream.

Yes I asked if I could be one of the 100 and yes I’m posting this because I saw myself in one of these pictures. I’m a fucking narcissist okay!?

Bone [has] to mention it at least once…

And I promise, promise not to mention it again after this.

I was nominated by some friends for a potential spot on Ophelia’s “hot guy avatar top ten for 2008” list over on New World Notes.

Well, surprisingly I made the long list and now can be found on round 2 of the public opinion poll.

If you have an opinion, I would encourage you to visit the site and cast your vote. And I’m not saying vote for me or anything. Really!

But if you need some more encouragement…

Round 1

Round 2

Round 3

Tiny Time

My very first fleshed-out avatar was a “tiny”. It was also my very first creation that I saw to completion. And the reason I didn’t give up on SL after a couple of days. While I feel more comfortable in my human form these days, I do occasionally like to spend time as a tiny.

I was wandering around Le Zoo — which I had never been and was completely blown away — a couple of weeks ago and decided to take a ride on a mechanical panda. I watched as my human body contorted in on itself, having not noticed the word “tiny” in the hovering text. So I dusted off the old “smorph” avatar and took some pictures.

And for the hell of it, here’s the same shot with atmospheric shaders turned off. Big difference, huh?

I set out to find where I could buy myself a copy of the ride and ended up in a sim called Kowloon. It’s a pretty cool maze-like urban build and refreshingly lag free.

I took some pictures and made a short video using WeGame. Unfortunately the free version of WordPress doesn’t allow me to embed them so:

Here’s a video of Smorph exploring Kowloon (the shitty framerate is due to the WeGame client, which in a previous version worked perfectly fine as evidenced by this video of Smorph dancing in the “party ball” over The Viper Pit.)